~worthiness is your birthright~



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Wednesday, Apr 03rd, 2013
Every black girl and woman interested in expanding their relationship and dating options…

should become very familiar with these sites:

Telling Black Women The Truth

Black Female Interracial Marriage

Sojourners Passport

Acts Of Faith Blog

Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle

**start in the archives!!! :)

stop visiting Lipstick Alley, Bossip, THEYBF, NecoleBitchie, Clutch, MadameNoire and any other gossip rag that add NOTHING of value to your life.

If you leave a site feeling worse about yourself than before, that should be the LAST time you visit.

xoxo

∞07:56 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker42 notes
[bwwm] [black girls] [black women] [interracial dating] [black women empowerment]

Wednesday, Mar 20th, 2013
Girls are like apples on trees.

The best ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get sour apples from the grounds that aren’t as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing.

They just have to wait for the right boys to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
India Kang, Dating The Rules Blog

∞08:43 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker116 notes
[dating] [marriage] [bwwm] [black women] [women of color] [women]

Thursday, Mar 14th, 2013
But some of you have swallowed and digested the delusion that you can’t change the malignant situation that some of you experience or live in. However, you can change this for yourself and enough of us can come together and put some of those changes together to lift the boat for all of us.

If you shy away from this, you’re simply afraid. Be honest and admit it. You’re scared to try anything else, other than the approved ways that have badly failed and failed.

The difference between me and some of you is that I’m much more afraid NOT to do this. Sure, it will benefit me, but I’m mainly willing to do this for my children, grandchildren, and future descendants—if they’re to be.

Life is overwhelmingly a mental experience. If YOU believe you can, there’s a very high probability that you CAN.
Evia Moore, The Need for Intentional Communities/Support Associations for BW

∞04:04 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker12 notes
[black women] [black girls] [black girl] [black beauty] [black woman] [BWE]

Black women, I hope y’all know that nothing about the current social climate in this country is going to change for the better, or not anytime soon. I mean, if you’re reading this, then you’re of the age that I can say with 99% certainty that what’s going on now is not going to noticeably change for the better in your lifetime. It’s going to get worse because there is no effective intervention, to speak of. I base this on those indicators that I talked about back in 2007-8. Scientists and business forecasters of all types use indicators to make very sound predictions. So can I. Just call me a social forecaster. LOL!

Life is usually not kind to the vast majority of people in the world. I’ve told you over and over that ‘Life has NOTHING to do with fairness.’ Black women must create fair or comfortable outcomes for themselves. The sooner they realize that, the better—instead of sitting around waiting for life to hand them a fair deal or one that meets their needs.

Enough is enough. We must create these support associations for which the cornerstones will be reciprocity and common sense plus other substantive aspects that enable people to develop and function like whole and normal human beings.
Evia Moore, The Need for Intentional Communities/Support Associations for BW

∞03:43 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker4 notes
[black women] [black girls] [black beauty] [black girl] [black woman]

Tuesday, Mar 12th, 2013
zosozeppelin87 wanted to know: You got it all wrong and twist I'm pretty sure you're a black men that bashes black women 24/7 just because your dating outside of your race. Black men are the ones that got a problem when a black woman is dating outside of her race, black men started the black women = gold diggers shit, black men are the ones who praises light skin women and bash the dark skin women. If black men were supportive to their women all this wouldn't have happened.

Hi there!

[sorry about any typos]

“You got it all wrong and twist I’m pretty sure you’re a black men that bashes black women 24/7 just because your dating outside of your race.”

image

lmao not quite hun.

“Black men are the ones that got a problem when a black woman is dating outside of her race, black men started the black women = gold diggers shit, black men are the ones who praises light skin women and bash the dark skin women.”

Absolutely, they STARTED it. Now tell me, who is CONTINUING that sick and backwards behavior in addition to bm?

“If black men were supportive to their women all this wouldn’t have happened.”

1. There is no “our”. BM do not own BW and BW do not own BM. If black women want to date or marry a man of another ethnicity or race, that is their choice. I encourage bw to expand their dating pool to include quality guys of other groups. BW have been marrying WM and men of other races in this country since slavery was abolished. How do you think anti-miscegenation laws came about in the first place?? I can tell you it wasn’t because of relationships between ww and bm, that’s for sure (2 groups with ZERO rights at that time). It’s unfortunate that part of history is rarely told…

2. I know this is hard for a lot of bw to swallow, but STOP LOOKING FOR SUPPORT in places you will never receive it, and that includes your mostly black circles.  Many (not all) bw are in a tough spot because the protection, love, and admiration they SHOULD be getting from the black “community” is nowhere to be found.  If that was going on you would see these terrible stats about bw’s obesity, HIV rates, and high out-of-wedlock numbers.  In most cases that I’ve observed, the support isn’t there. But, it doesn’t mean you can’t have alliances, friendships, marriages, and other relationships with groups whose hue doesn’t match your own.

I think the links below may be of service to some of who email me and leave me messages :)

Telling Black Women The Truth

Black Female Interracial Marriage

Sojourners Passport

Acts Of Faith Blog

Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle

Muslim Bushido

Black Femininity

The New Elegant Black Woman

Thanks for the note!

∞07:39 am, question from zosozeppelin87, answered by shesthedifferencemaker15 notes
[black women] [interracial dating] [black girls] [black men] [bwwm]

Monday, Mar 11th, 2013
hazelscarlettrose wanted to know: I've read some of the articles you've posted and a lot of them seem to blame black women for their circumstances instead of a society that has built hundreds of years of oppression and shame on the black woman by all races and genders. Do you feel as if the current circumstances of black women are because of their own actions or do you think society has, if any, role in in this current "plight".

Hi there!

you asked:

“Do you feel as if the current circumstances of black women are because of their own actions or do you think society has, if any, role in in this current “plight”.”

my response (sorry about the typos):

BOTH.

There are circumstances that we are born into that are out of our control and there are many circumstances that we DO have the power to avoid, prevent, and overcome.

Keep in mind that black women are not a monolith  so when you say current circumstances of black women, I have to ask, which ones?  I didn’t know the number until recently but there is 22+ million bw in the U.S.  Our values, experiences and lifestyles are are going to vary greatly.

Whenever someone brings up being accountable for ones actions, looking at issues from a different perspective, or having a more positive outlook in general, there is always someone from the black peanut gallery running in to shut them up because HOW DARE THEY question the behaviors of grown black men and women.

There’s nothing wrong w/ acknowledging the rich history of black Americans, which included overcoming enormous obstacles like slavery and gaining civil rights, but I’m not one of those black people that uses the suffering of my ancestors as an excuse not achieve.

I will continue to post content that questions the backwards and quite bizarre behaviors I see going on in many (not all) black circles because the way I see it, how can I expect the people and environment around me to improve when I am unwilling to make the necessary changes to elevate myself?

Be the change you want to see, right?? Are we all just repeating those words because Obama says it, or are we actually putting in the work on ourselves and living it?

Thanks for the note :)

∞07:19 pm, question from hazelscarlettrose, answered by shesthedifferencemaker6 notes
[black women] [bwwm] [black community] [black girls] [women of color]

But racio-misogyny does not only ensnare and victimize black men. It also controls the hearts and minds of the “loyal opposition,” i.e., brainwashed black women, who play a crucial role in enforcing the “community’s” Anti-Black Woman agenda.

It is black women who actively degrade and insult dark-skinned black women while treating light-skinned women with almost worshipful admiration (go to any black “entertainment” website to see examples of the mocking belittlement that the Williams Sisters, Naomi Campbell, Tamika Raymond, Foxy Brown, etc. are subjected to, vs. the unquestioning adoration reserved for Rihanna, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, or the latest “exotic” video vixen/“jumpoff”).

It is black women who attack and demean black women who seek child support and active fathering for their children as “gold diggers” and evil nags. It is black women who denigrate unwed black mothers for their out-of-wedlock childbearing, as if such women conceive through the process of Immaculate Conception.

It is black women who attack black women who date/marry interracially, while defending the interracial mating prerogatives of black men Thus, we witness the sad and bizarre spectacle of black women (most of whom are not and never will be married), living vicariously through morally questionable white women like Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Kendra Baskett, Nicole “Coco” Austin, and Vanessa Bryant, based solely on these women’s relationships with black men.

Black women can even be seen taking sides in the disputes manufactured by the celebrity media between these women, excitedly proclaiming themselves “Team Rihanna” or “Team Kim.” Just as damaged-beyond-repair black men long for white and “exotic” women to fill the void within, mulish black women long for the love of black men, even if the only way they can experience it is to fantasize themselves in the real-life positions of the non-black women that these men actually want.
Black Girls Rock

∞03:19 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker65 notes
[black girls] [black women] [Rihanna] [Kim Kardashian] [racio-misogyny]

Too many AA women give others the impression that they are angry, but ALL AA women are not angry—Whereas SOME bw wear a glorified cape of anger, some of us are not angry at all. We’re pleasant inside and out.

Furthermore, some of us have separated ourselves from those angry bw. I don’t see anything to be angry about. As one bw notewriter wrote to me recently: “This is an excellent time for bw.” I totally agree. I was talking with a girlfriend yesterday afternoon about this and she also agreed that AA women have no actual basis for their anger these days.

I asked her what a typical angry bw would say as to the reason for her anger. My friend said that a woman of that type wouldn’t be able to explain the anger. It’s vague, she said. We sat there trying to figure out what these bw get in exchange for their anger that rewards them enough to continue with it….

No. No. And No. No, you don’t have a reason to be angry, not in the overwhelming most cases. You’re angry because YOU have chosen to be angry. Anger is a choice and you will pay for your choices.
Evia Moore, Different Types of BW are Under Different Umbrellas - Bw are Not a Monolith

∞02:01 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker25 notes
[black women] [black girls] [black community] [bwwm] [black woman]

Sunday, Mar 10th, 2013
A look at sheer numbers to put things into perspective…

There are approximately 40 million black people in America. There are more black people in America than there are people in countries such as Canada, Argentina, Poland and Peru. Wouldn’t that make us the equivalent of a nation? We probably have the purchasing power that exceeds these countries as well.

And guess what? These countries have their OWN economies, engage in trade with other nations, develop talent and collaborate with other entities. We have the numbers and the purchasing power to do the same. What we lack is the desire to organize and the values under which we can operate.

22 million of these people are black women. There are more black women in America than there are people in Australia, the Netherlands and Sri Lanka. We have enough numbers just among the women alone. So many people. So many hands. So many minds.

What are we going to do about it?
For Black Women ONLY

∞06:32 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker75 notes
[quotes] [black women] [bwwm] [black girls] [Americans]

Tuesday, Feb 19th, 2013

Nicole Beharie for Vanity Fair

The Julliard graduate will play Jackie Robinson’s wife in the upcoming baseball player’s biopic, 42. Here, Beharie poses for our March issue.

∞07:45 am, by shesthedifferencemaker273 notes
[Nicole Beharie] [Vanity Fair] [fashion] [black women] [Hollywood]

Monday, Feb 18th, 2013
Blacks also need to demand their “black groups” and so called “black spokespersons” reject comparisons to criminals crossing into our country to the civil rights movement or slavery. Blacks were brought to America in 1619 against their will, treated like property, worked like animals and violated sexually. The least America could do in 1964 was to grant blacks equal rights to whites. Illegal immigrants chose to voluntarily break laws to enter, work and remain in the US illegally. America owes them an enforcement of our laws along with the employers who illegally employ them.

If black liberals are really angry at the lack of attention Obama is giving them, perhaps they should use this as a lesson. Instead of voting for candidates based on race or party, perhaps black Americans should try giving candidates a thorough vetting before going to the polls and hold politicians accountable to records in exchange for votes. Maybe then blacks would start getting something in return other than the status quo.
Conservative Black Chick, Blacks Are Fed Up with Obama; It’s about Time!

∞09:36 am, by shesthedifferencemaker25 notes
[nobama] [black women] [conservatives] [Barack Obama] [illegal immigrants] [politcs] [liberals]

Capturing the black male gaze and seeking the needle in a haystack exceptionalism influences many black women to run towards the plastic surgery, the skin lightening treatments, the yellow hair and the desperate behavior. Unfortunately, the quality of the men they seek is woefully inadequate and they’ll never get the validation they require.

And yes, women do need their beauty validated along with every other aspect of themselves to be a complete person. It’s not unique for any women with the focus and means to beautify herself, thus some of these actions are not necessarily harmful in and of themselves. It’s the unacknowledged underlying hatred for black women who look black that is the issue.

Many of these women have attractive features that are admired by men who are not black and would fare better to go where they will be appreciated. Non-black males don’t need to step on the backs of black women to get ahead in society and already dominate in some way or come from more intact communities, so they may have an appreciation for all women. They don’t need to exalt one group of women at the expense of another.
Acts of Faith Blog, A “Hoochie” Barbie That Offends Or Is Mattel Paying Attention?

∞08:15 am, by shesthedifferencemaker29 notes
[bwwm] [interracial dating] [black women] [black girls] [women of color] [BWE]

Sunday, Feb 17th, 2013
Real gains in the economy will come from the creation of new wealth through new industries. Job creation peaks when innovations in science, technology, and engineering do. We get it wrong when we see the solution to inequality in income distribution.

People should be honored for creating the types of infrastructure and products that helps meet the needs or the masses and not be demonized when their products/services create a considerable amount of profit and wealth for themselves.

Inequality has nothing to do with a gap in income as it does with a gap in opportunity. There are particular field sectors that will never yield as much in income and profit because their economic value in the job market is relatively low. Students should be informed of this diligently prior to choosing a major and shape their academic pursuits accordingly.
The Liberette, “What Are You Going to Do With A Degree in That?” and Other Musings on the Job Market

∞12:59 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker13 notes
[education] [black women] [conservatives] [university] [job market] [college]

Saturday, Feb 16th, 2013
Patriarchy will insure a male role is written first and with better character development for film and tv roles. Go take a look at the current crop of tv shows and movies released right now. Count the parts. Then divide that number by the fake reality tv and see who makes up the bulk of those shows. There are numerous shows and movies that have large casts with several male roles filled by black and white actors, one or two female roles represented by others – but you’d be hard-pressed to find a black woman extra in the background UNLESS it fits a stereotype.

We have to be cognizant of the images being displayed of us and who is displaying those images. You’re not powerless to take action to remedy this. You don’t have to simultaneously support your erasure or other people’s ratchetness. We should not be so quick to hold “prefect” images in vain all for the purpose of keeping it real stupid.

Know that people are going to do what benefits them and many are invested in uplifting BM interests without any reciprocity AND to the detriment of BW. There are certain groups of people with particular cultural ties and power clusters who are immediately catered to and defended. This isn’t a reflection of more collective juice, but in how the squeeze method was applied. Ask yourself if you’re being treated like a favored child or the bastard cast-off.

Don’t assume loyalty, jump to be angry with or defend the poor behavior of or give any of your time, energy, resources and money to people, causes and practices that do not benefit you or where there are no alliances yet evidenced. Everyone has to pay at the door for entry.
Acts of Faith Blog, Deathstyles by Blackistan & Incorrect BWE Messaging

∞01:43 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker14 notes
[black girls] [black women] [bwwm] [women of color] [African women] [BWE] [ActsofFaithBlog]

Friday, Feb 15th, 2013
Many black women have borrowed too many politically correct concepts and ideas without the understanding that these notions are not giving them the victory they seek. I am here to tell black women that utilitarian approaches are better for black women not Politically correct and idealistic philosophies especially those borrowed from modern feminist thought. ‘Being fat is fine’, ‘Be a single mother if you want, its your choice’, ‘No one should shame a Slut’… I am wondering how have these notions helped the situation of black women as a group?

There are many kinds of ‘experimental’ ideas out there offered in the name of progressiveness, equality and openness but they will not pay off for black women even if their white counterparts manage to dabble and go scotch free from all sorts of new social engineering ideas…..black women must always look to the tried and tested approaches…
Halima Sal-Anderson, Notes from the institute of Clear thinking for black women

∞04:13 pm, by shesthedifferencemaker39 notes
[black women] [black girls] [bwwm] [African women] [women of color] [Halima Sal-Anderson] [BWE]

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