“Nobody in their right mind admires Asexual Mammy. No matter how much women who identify with Asexual Mammy complain about the fact that nobody admires (or even really values) Asexual Mammy. Sane people who are in touch with human norms can recognize that Asexual Mammy is just as deviant as Hip-Hop Video Vixen. She’s simply at the opposite end of the promiscuity spectrum. Neither image reflects or projects healthy, attractive womanhood.
If Viola Davis has any sense at all, she’ll stop playing Asexual Mammy roles. If she has a piece of a clue, she’ll use her current buzz to get herself cast as an alluring, desirable woman. She’s not getting any younger. If she’s really smart, she’ll form her own production company and cast herself in lead roles as a desirable, alluring woman. Her shelf-life for being relatively young enough to be cast as a desirable woman (as opposed to being cast as the desirable woman’s mother) is ticking down. She should look at what happened to Angela Bassett (who took too long to wake up, and wasted her prime female leading actress years).
If AA female slaves had any sense, they would stop celebrating Asexual Mammy. And stop lifting her up as an example for young AA girls. That’s crazy, Rwanda Zone thinking. That’s deathstyle thinking, and it’s totally out of touch with human norms.
Those women who are in touch with human norms understand that it’s a competitive world. Sensible women have no problem with caring about the so-called “male gaze” because attracting a quality, loving husband is a preliminary building block to marriage and wholesome family life. The relatively few normal and thriving AA women who exist understand that advertising matters. Images matter, whether or not the images are consciously intended to serve as advertising. “Brands” matter. Personal brands matter.
Sojourners know that sensible people aren’t careless or negligent about projecting an attractive image for their collective “brand.” That’s why, as other bloggers have noted, White lesbians such as Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow were required to soften and feminize their images in order to have their own tv shows. That’s why White lesbian actresses (such as Amber Heard and Portia de Rossi) who want to be employed have the common sense to conform to feminine norms in terms of their self-presentation. Sensible women know what time it is.
For those who don’t, an education is a terrible thing to waste.”
-Khadija Nassif, Sojourner’s Passport