~worthiness is your birthright~

But some of you have swallowed and digested the delusion that you can’t change the malignant situation that some of you experience or live in. However, you can change this for yourself and enough of us can come together and put some of those changes together to lift the boat for all of us.

If you shy away from this, you’re simply afraid. Be honest and admit it. You’re scared to try anything else, other than the approved ways that have badly failed and failed.

The difference between me and some of you is that I’m much more afraid NOT to do this. Sure, it will benefit me, but I’m mainly willing to do this for my children, grandchildren, and future descendants—if they’re to be.

Life is overwhelmingly a mental experience. If YOU believe you can, there’s a very high probability that you CAN.

Capturing the black male gaze and seeking the needle in a haystack exceptionalism influences many black women to run towards the plastic surgery, the skin lightening treatments, the yellow hair and the desperate behavior. Unfortunately, the quality of the men they seek is woefully inadequate and they’ll never get the validation they require.

And yes, women do need their beauty validated along with every other aspect of themselves to be a complete person. It’s not unique for any women with the focus and means to beautify herself, thus some of these actions are not necessarily harmful in and of themselves. It’s the unacknowledged underlying hatred for black women who look black that is the issue.

Many of these women have attractive features that are admired by men who are not black and would fare better to go where they will be appreciated. Non-black males don’t need to step on the backs of black women to get ahead in society and already dominate in some way or come from more intact communities, so they may have an appreciation for all women. They don’t need to exalt one group of women at the expense of another.

Patriarchy will insure a male role is written first and with better character development for film and tv roles. Go take a look at the current crop of tv shows and movies released right now. Count the parts. Then divide that number by the fake reality tv and see who makes up the bulk of those shows. There are numerous shows and movies that have large casts with several male roles filled by black and white actors, one or two female roles represented by others – but you’d be hard-pressed to find a black woman extra in the background UNLESS it fits a stereotype.

We have to be cognizant of the images being displayed of us and who is displaying those images. You’re not powerless to take action to remedy this. You don’t have to simultaneously support your erasure or other people’s ratchetness. We should not be so quick to hold “prefect” images in vain all for the purpose of keeping it real stupid.

Know that people are going to do what benefits them and many are invested in uplifting BM interests without any reciprocity AND to the detriment of BW. There are certain groups of people with particular cultural ties and power clusters who are immediately catered to and defended. This isn’t a reflection of more collective juice, but in how the squeeze method was applied. Ask yourself if you’re being treated like a favored child or the bastard cast-off.

Don’t assume loyalty, jump to be angry with or defend the poor behavior of or give any of your time, energy, resources and money to people, causes and practices that do not benefit you or where there are no alliances yet evidenced. Everyone has to pay at the door for entry.

Many black women have borrowed too many politically correct concepts and ideas without the understanding that these notions are not giving them the victory they seek. I am here to tell black women that utilitarian approaches are better for black women not Politically correct and idealistic philosophies especially those borrowed from modern feminist thought. ‘Being fat is fine’, ‘Be a single mother if you want, its your choice’, ‘No one should shame a Slut’… I am wondering how have these notions helped the situation of black women as a group?

There are many kinds of ‘experimental’ ideas out there offered in the name of progressiveness, equality and openness but they will not pay off for black women even if their white counterparts manage to dabble and go scotch free from all sorts of new social engineering ideas…..black women must always look to the tried and tested approaches…

I encourage black women to forge NEW strategic alliances. I am not saying “you are all alone and on your own. Deal.” No I am not.

I am saying to many sistas: Create strategic power alliances OUTSIDE of black constructs and dismantle ingrained distrust of other races.

On a night a few years back Chris Brown made a decision. He beat a woman. Beat her and left her on the side of the road in the night. Chris Brown is like a lot of Black men who abuse women…he flames up at Black females but you never see him kicking the ass of Black males and you don’t see him putting his hands on White folks.

This is not an anger management issue. If it’s just anger misdirected than why not beat the mailman when he doesn’t deliver your mail when ya want it or how about the guy at the grocery who bagged your bread and smashed it while doing so?

Chris Brown is a bully and an abuser. Defend him and all of his ilk. But it does not remove the stain of what he has done.

Finally a few years back..actually back in the 90s when I first started listening to jazz….I discovered that Miles Davis beat the women in his life. He admitted this in his bio…that he once beat Cicely Tyson. Beat her and laughed with the police when they came to investigate. I was dismayed and sadden that this man with such an amazing music talent was such a azz wipe spiritually. Chris Brown does not even have 1/3 the talent of Miles Davis so why anyone keeps trying to defend him is beyond me.

In the end Black women will have a reckoning…a day will come when you will need to decide do you stand for yourself and any and all that have your best interest at heart or do you keep carrying the water for folks who would just as soon slap the taste out of your mouth as to do right by ya. That’s all.

After the recent events in the middle east, I am even more inclined to not just value Western freedoms but to realize that there is no similar kind of context of personal and individual freedom offered around the globe.

As black women we talk about living the best lives possible but make no mistake, the context within which we can live optimal lives is the western context, no matter how flawed and deficient it still is. If the western edifice does not endure, then as black women, you can kiss your fancy ideas about living optimal lives goodbye. Do you know that there are places in Africa now where as a black woman you can still be sold as a slave?

Indeed some of you think you have a fight/quarrel with the western social order but I can assure you that if you succeed in taking down the western edifice, what will replace it will make your hair stand on end. The West is not evil. It has deficiencies, it has flaws, somethings could be better…Do your best to better the system at the same time defend your freedoms and values which are under threat. The external threats are even more than those of so called ‘right wing christians’ because there are already laws in place that limit what such folks can do.

Stop being used and manipulated (through your anger or guilt or bitterness) into destroying your own civilization.

AA women are constantly fed a diet (by most AA men AND other AA women) of “Be mad at white folks, be mad at white folks, be mad at white folks,” and rarely is it ever pointed out to them that the racial maneuvers of de evil white folks THESE days pale in comparison to de evil deeds of de evil black folks around them. It’s de evil black folks that any AA women had better keep their eye on THESE days because they live inside bw’s houses, live next door to them, sit in church pews with them, etc.

Another thing is that the “Be angry at white folks” diet is a skillfully-crafted OKEY-DOKE that is geared ONLY to take particular effect with AA women in this most dire way—the mating realm. We know this because AA men do hear that same message and some may be angry at whites, but they don’t ever allow that to interfere with them mating with, loving, and marrying ww. So why exactly is it that so many AA men can brush that message off and move on to what they obviously consider to be ‘greener pastures,’ whereas so many bw swallow that message and stay rooted in that anger, paralysis, and thus remain stuck on barren land where no grass grows. This is simply suidical, extinction behavior.

In general, any AA woman should realize that not only are many typical AAs their own worst enemy, most AAs are, for most practical purposes, their ONLY actual enemy—THESE DAYS.

A lot of men will test you to see how much they can get away with. YOU must put your boundaries up and then you must enforce them and keep on enforcing and maintaining them, if necessary. Anyone, including your children and parents, will take advantage of you at times, if you don’t let them know that they’re making you uncomfortable or that you don’t like something they’re doing or saying.

That’s called having boundaries. You must let them know that if they don’t stop, you will take action. However, never say you’re going to take action if you’re not going to do it because most people will test you to see whether you mean what you say.

This is exactly how abuse in many man-woman relationship starts. It starts slowly. If you let him know at the getgo that you’re not going to tolerate it, he will not be able to do it. He will respect you for that, but he may go and find another woman to abuse in some way because some people just like to abuse others. Do NOT tolerate any type of disrespect! You may not be able to make him stop, but you don’t have to stay around it.